Bears! Polar bears, grizzly bears, brown bears, black bears, panda bears and yes, we even talk about poohs! You’ll hear about bears eating faces, butchering families, and guarding marijuana grow-ops. So they’re not all bad.

Music: “When yuba plays the rhumba on the tuba” – Spike Jones

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Polar Bear Zoo Attack

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  • Grim

    Not afraid of bears are you? Well how about after seeing this!

    http://imgur.com/dk0iY.jpg

    Soon they’ll be able to use machine guns.

  • Grim

    Not afraid of bears are you? Well how about after seeing this!

    http://imgur.com/dk0iY.jpg

    Soon they’ll be able to use machine guns.

  • banks!

    The new Disney Winny The Pooh movie is probably good because Pixar took over Disney’s animation department and is already making changes for the better (no more direct to DVD disney films for example).

    Another related bear story that you might find interesting is the last wild bear to enter Germany was shot and killed in 2006. Germans may love Hasselhoff but they sure hate bears!

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/26/AR2006062600130.html

    Also, there kind of is already a horror movie based on a bear called “Grizzly”. My babysitter let me watch it when I was a kid and it scared the beejeezus out of me.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074593/

  • Nitromex

    You guys do know that the “polar bear” attack is a panda bear, right?

  • Nitromex

    You guys do know that the “polar bear” attack is a panda bear, right?

  • Nitromex

    Oh… Never mind… make links more easy-to-tell-that-it’s-a-link-esque. Gosh.
    Don’t make me angry.

  • castewar

    I’ma haf to get all culture on yer asses;

    War and Peace (which I read in school)
    Leo Tolstoy

    “They are regular brigands, especially Dolokhov,” replied the visitor. “He is a son of Marya Ivanovna Dolokhova, such a worthy woman, but there, just fancy! Those three got hold of a bear somewhere, put it in a carriage, and set off with it to visit some actresses! The police tried to interfere, and what did the young men do? They tied a policeman and the bear back to back and put the bear into the Moyka Canal. And there was the bear swimming about with the policeman on his back!”

    It’s the only thing I can remember from the book, for obvious reasons. I a massive book like that, when someone ties a bear to a policeman and tosses them in the river, it sticks with you.

    Also, in comics, you forgot Snowbird, who’s a Northern spirit/Godess, who can turn herself into a polar bear. She’s in Alpha Flight. Shame on you guys…

  • castewar

    I’ma haf to get all culture on yer asses;

    War and Peace (which I read in school)
    Leo Tolstoy

    “They are regular brigands, especially Dolokhov,” replied the visitor. “He is a son of Marya Ivanovna Dolokhova, such a worthy woman, but there, just fancy! Those three got hold of a bear somewhere, put it in a carriage, and set off with it to visit some actresses! The police tried to interfere, and what did the young men do? They tied a policeman and the bear back to back and put the bear into the Moyka Canal. And there was the bear swimming about with the policeman on his back!”

    It’s the only thing I can remember from the book, for obvious reasons. I a massive book like that, when someone ties a bear to a policeman and tosses them in the river, it sticks with you.

    Also, in comics, you forgot Snowbird, who’s a Northern spirit/Godess, who can turn herself into a polar bear. She’s in Alpha Flight. Shame on you guys…

  • tykle

    If I remember correctly, that cuddly bear from my childhood 45 years ago was also called “Winnie ther Pooh”. From chapter one of Winnie the Pooh:

    When I first heard his name, I said, just as you are going to say,
    “But I thought he was a boy?”
    “So did I,” said Christopher Robin.
    “Then you can’t call him Winnie?”
    “I don’t.”
    “But you said–”
    “He’s Winnie-ther-Pooh. Don’t you know what ‘ther’ means?”
    “Ah, yes, now I do,” I said quickly;
    and I hope you [referring now to readers of this book] do too,
    because it is all the explanation you are going to get.

  • Gareth

    Here’s a nice little riposte to what I’m sure will be the awfulness of the Yogi Bear movie (oh Dan Akoyd, how could you?)

  • Gareth

    Here’s a nice little riposte to what I’m sure will be the awfulness of the Yogi Bear movie (oh Dan Akoyd, how could you?)

  • Derek

    Haven’t got all the way through the ep yet, but my favourite pop culture reference to bears is the Tundra episode of the Mighty Boosh – a comedy show (a duo with hangers on, really) from England. Absolutely hilarious discussion of how well disguised the polar bear is in the Arctic.

    Here’s a sample: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00ch0r1

  • jadegreendragon

    Just listened to the Bears podcast and noticed you left out one very dangerous bear. The Australian Drop Bear. Please read the following important public announcement, it could save your life!

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/23678785@N07/6327913670/

    Cheers

  • curtis

    I’m sorry, did i just listen to an entire pod cast about bears, cartoon bears, and super hero bears… but not one mention of husky, hairy gay men?

  • curtis

    I’m sorry, did i just listen to an entire pod cast about bears, cartoon bears, and super hero bears… but not one mention of husky, hairy gay men?

    • Joe

      Yup.

      There’s nothing funny or weird or gross about that kind of bear so they don’t fit as a Caustic Soda topic.

      • Toren

        I disagree with 2 of those statements, but we still left it out.

      • curtis

        I’ll give you ‘not weird or gross’ because they’re no more weird or gross than most other subcultures –ever been in a room with a bunch of people who play WOW and you don’t? how can so many people say so little that makes sense in an hour? 😉

        but not funny? oh bear god, now i have to go to the Bear Elders and tell them we are not funny anymore, and if we ain’t funny we ain’t relevant and then Kevin Smith and Richard Karn will turn in their Honourary Bear memberships!

        • Toren

          I think even Joe can agree that all sex is funny and gross, no matter the subclassification.

          • Joe

            Toren, you’re doing it wrong if it’s funny and gross. You should do some more research.

            Bears are adorable. I don’t find them funny even though I can see how others might. When I see those glamour shots of two bears obviously into each other I just go “dawwwww” instead of “ha ha”.

  • Chris

    You are entertaining and interesting and have your own podcast. I am simply a guy who enjoys your podcasts. So at risk of being “that guy nit-picking the details”, I feel like adding my two bits to your Bears episode… so please bear with me. (did you see what I did there?):
    * Spirit Bears aren’t albino, and definitely not grizzlies… they are a light colour phase of a black bear with the population centered on BC’s central coast. They have pigment, such as in their eyes.
    * Where to shoot a grizzly charging you? Apparently you go for the shoulders where you may do mechanical damage that slows them down. Hitting them in the chest might be fatal, but their momentum might still take them right over you. Ultimately, you finish a bear by shooting the top of the head between the ears.
    * Regarding the vitamin A overdose… you mention Retinol, which is the term for animal-source Vit A. Interestingly the synthetic form is Accutane which is used to treat serious acne. It has a lot of side-effects, including peeling skin (and extreme birth defects). Hmmm.
    * The pot-guarding bears story is a myth deliberately created by the cops and seized by the media to make themselves sound all manly. It’s a load of crap. There was crazy bear lady who had bear friends. They raised pot to help pay for their huge dog/bear food bill. Luckily the bears weren’t destroyed… which is what usually happens when they make human friends.
    * A fascinating and sad story from here on Haida Gwaii, where I live, is that a man named Gerald Hawke committed suicide after many of his black bear friends, which lounged around his house and ate at his table, were shot by conservation officers for being habituated. http://www.spruceroots.org/September03/Bears.html
    * Our black bears have the largest head and jaws in the world (for munching shellfish), and the Haida Nation recently stopped the bear hunt here. There’s never been a story of anyone every being injured by a bear on these islands. As a ranger, I get to see all sorts of bears. Beautiful beasts.
    * … and finally…. what the HELL was that newfie accent? aggggghhhhhhh…… stahp! It’s a pretty good Old-Timey accent, but maybe Kentucky?

    thanks for your collective awesomeness!
    chris

  • jaime

    This never stops being funny.

  • jaime

    This never stops being funny.

  • Chelle

    Named Winnie the Pooh because bears shit in the woods. Obviously someone’s child was spying on wildlife while camping. Lucky it didn’t end up Fucky the Bear or Winnie the Fucker

  • Chelle

    “Like a fat kid on a Smartie”…YOU just made me snort out loud at work. I am now being stared at mercilessly.

    That is EXACTLY the kind of 87 year old woman I want to become! (But perhaps not with those vocal patterns.) I can totally see her bringing down a moose.

pingbacks / trackbacks
  • […] all things morbid. This 1915 bear attack on a small Japanese village was discussed (appropriately) in their Bears episode, and I thought it would make perfect fodder for a comic. Unfortunately, I knew close to nothing […]

  • […] all things morbid. This 1915 bear attack on a small Japanese village was discussed (appropriately) in their Bears episode, and I thought it would make perfect fodder for a comic. Unfortunately, I knew close to nothing […]